別に何も無い

今夜の夕食又たくさん食べ過ぎたな。やばい。。キャ---デブ過ぎてになって。
仕事を直ぐに求めらなければならないってかもしれない。。
けど、やる気がないねぇ。引きこもりになると思うったんですが。
さっき「ハナとアリス」の映画をみたんだ。すぅごきれいな。
もぅ。嵐の夏コン見たい。
ニノの事、何だか少し自分の好みで、白けている。
けど、今週の宿題ーくん、あいつはお客さんに暗に戯れていったかも。美人の芸人アイドルだから。

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Tabe Mikako-chan 多部未華子

隣人の晩ご飯作っている物を嗅げる。 あんな料理はイタめしもしかしたら。。子牛フィレットにグルメリーブ油でフライして、も色んな芳草と香草とか味付けしてるんだとかも知れない。
先刻晩ご飯を食べた。。一人で。寂しいなと思う。隣人ーさんのイタめし晩ご飯より自分の蟹x卵焼きコンビのほうが可哀相みたいんだ。
とにかく、ヤマダタロウspさっきに見れた。 あのタロが好き少女の女優、多部未華子ーちゃんがちょう可愛いそうだ。
多部未華子ーちゃんは井上真央ーちゃん と一緒「青空の行方」の映画演じれた。あの花よりだんごのドラマの見ている時で、松田翔太ーさんの事段々見上げている。神秘的な人と思うったんですけど。あたくしは、時々「怪人」のタイプが好き。と言うわけで、松田翔太ーさんのファンになった。
兎角さぁ、多部未華子ーちゃん絶対可愛いな。イケガミタカコのキャラに役割に適するって、だれでもに受け入れられない。
頑張る多部未華子!
例え二ノーさんは反社会的も、疎々しいそうも、手前勝も、手高慢も、頑張ります!

I can smell what the neighbors are having for dinner.
I guess its probably sauteed veal in olive oil seasoned with various herbs and spices.
-just had dinner myself. My tamago-kani yaki and some asparagus minestrone soup somewhat pales in comparison to the neighbors' gourmet feast.

Nevermind. I just watched Yamada Taro Making SP. The girl who plays Yamada's biggest admirer, Tabe Mikako , is super super cute!
She starred in Aozora no yu e, in one of the minor roles along with that girl who played Inoue Mao's best friend in Hana Yori Dango who was in love with Soujiro who's aura of mystery I in turn found attractive. (I like mysterious boys - sometimes) I gradually turned into a Matsuda Shota fan after a few episodes.
Back to the subject of the topic, Tabe Mikako-chan Chou Kawaii!
I couldn't think of anyone better to play the role of Ikegami Takako.
Gambaru Tabe-chan! Even if Nino-kun can be antisocial at times, please do your best.
You have my full support!

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Situation report

3かの全月間私は私の生きる喜びを失った。 それはどこにあるか。 私はそれがほしいと思う。

For 3 whole months I've lost my joie de vivre.
Where is it?
I want it back.

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よいの朝 Good Mornings

昨晩私はディズニー・チャンネルのワンダランドーでアリス映画を見るために私が目がさめていたので遅く眠った。.....
その映画は上機嫌のとき見られるべきである。私は発見薬剤を入れられた状態だけできるより深い意味を提案する潜在意識の低調とおそらくなされたことを考える。 この色、このカード、女王およびMad Hatter。 私はそれを見ている間私が薬剤を入れられたことを望む。 多分私はビデオ店のそれを賃借できる。それからよりよく映画を見ることを楽しむように薬剤を入れられなさい。 それこの週である最終週後にするべき事のための私のリストに置かれる。ちなみに、私はまた自分の部屋をきれいにしなければならない。 塵を集める無用の事を取り除きなさい。

私は最近趣味として考慮することができる何かを発見した。
赤い蟻は私の家の問題である-どこでもある。、卓上で、ベッドで、瞼で、膝の下で、壁を渡って這う… 私が1日をした何、哲学の口頭試問を勉強して時に、押しつぶさないこと、そして私は机に70%のイソプロピル・アルコールの小さい滴を注いだ。 それらを押しつぶさないように気を付ける指間で中に幾つかの蟻をつかんだ。 それからアルコールにそれらを投げなさい。

そして、
私は蟻が住むためにゆっくり戦ったと同時に見た。 数秒後に、私は紙切れを使用してアルコールから蟻を持ち上げた。私は紙切れで干るために蟻を残した。 しかし蟻はまだ生きていた。 彼らはちょっと枯れるが、でも、生きっている。 しかし彼らはアルコールと酔っ払う。彼らは明確な方向無しで…前後に這う円で、ちょうどそして這う。

その私の生命の隠喩は、それでない。
私は真剣にウォッカを飲む必要がある。

Stayed up late last night. Alice in Wonderland was showing on the Disney channel. That movie is a good watch when you're high. I swear it was probably made with subliminal undertones suggesting some deeper meaning that only a stoned out state can unlock.
The colors, the cards, the queen of hearts and the mad hatter. I wish I had taken something to trip out on while watching it.
Maybe I could rent it, get real high and get a kick out of little ol' Alice in Wonderland.
Wonderland.
Put that on my list for things to do after finals week, which is this week.
Among other things, I must also fix my room. Clear out the inutile stuff gathering dust.

I recently discovered something that could be qualified as a hobby.
Red ants are a problem in my house - they're everywhere. Crawling across the wall, on the tabletops, in my bed, on my eyelids, under my knees...
What I did one day, while studying for my philosophy orals, was to pour a small circle of 70% isopropyl alcohol on the table, grab a couple of ants between my fingers careful not to squish them, then toss them into the alcohol.
Then, I slowly watched as the ants writhed and struggled while gradually getting intoxicated. After a few seconds, I got a peice of paper, lifted the ants off the liquid and set them to dry.
Lo and behold the ants were still alive. They'd be curled up for a while, but they'd come to life - albeit this time, they're drunk! They would crawl around and around in circles, just crawling back and forth...with no clear direction.

Its a metaphor of my life, isnt it.
I seriously need a shot of smirnoff.

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My nose is flat

私は鼻の整形手術を必要とするかもしれない。

しかし私は苦痛を恐れている。 人々は何を私について考えるか。

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忙しい。。。。

このWesluはだ又なぜ彼持っている彼のための記念のギグを持っていることについての多くのE-メールをであるか。
とにかく、別のニュースで。私の髪の毛は。。。より長く伸ばすっている。
私が私のTシャツ襟の中で髪の毛を押し込めたら私が黒いヘルメットを着けているみたい。
ハハハハ
明日神学141の試験。それが今忙しいでもblogに書いて時間がありなさい。
先に哲学で、人前で私達はAndre Shwarz-Bartの小説のレポートを論じる。
私は全小説を読むことを出来なかった。 それは私がレポートのための内容を都合するために真剣にそれによって行き始めた昨日までだけあった。それはなる-本は実際によい。

別のものを人の憎悪についての哲学の基盤の憂欝な物語を見れば読まれるこれはよい。 それは没頭させておく。しかしその本読んでに終えなかった。
私は夏休みが始まればそれを読むことを終わるように。 木曜日に私はNATCCOに行く、そして夜に予定される学の本会議がある。 眠い。金曜日に政治学の試験。 土曜日に神学の農村生活経験するのレポートがある。 後NATCCOの 戦略レポート。それから午後ITMの中間試験がある。 月曜日来週は学校休日である。 授業無し。しかし神父Giordanoは思慮深く必須の記憶を予定するフリータイムを利用した。 必須の記憶無し=卒業無し。そして私達にまだオシュート写す 事がある。
とても忙しい。 アンフェタミンを集中続けることを必要とすることを考える。 しかし一方ではシャブは私を台無しにする。コカインは問題外-余りに高いである。 私はバンコクの丸薬を考慮する。 しかし中心が打つことを止めることを恐れている。そしてコーヒーに私を飲みったら またカフェインに免疫がありがありたいと思ってはいけない。

Who is this Weslu and why does he have a lot of emails about having a memorial gig for him?

Anyway, in other news..My hair is getting longer.. When I tuck my hair inside my collar I look like I’m wearing a black helmet. Wahaha.

Theology 141 long test tomorrow.

Even if it’s a busy week I still have time to blog.

Earlier we had a report in Philosophy class on the novel The Last of the Just by Shwarz-Bart.

I didnt get to read the whole novel, it was only until yesterday that I started to seriously go through it in order to come up with some content for the report.

It turns out - the book is really good. If you’re looking for that brooding, melancholy story with philosophical underpinnings about man's hatred for another then this is a good read. It will keep you preoccupied. I had not finished it though. But I intend to do so once summer break begins.

On thursday I'll be going to NATCCO, then there's a plenary scheduled at night. ZZZZ.
Friday I have a long test in Political Science.
Saturday I have a report on my immersion, a presentation on NATCCO's IT strategy right after that. Then there is the ITM midterm in the afternoon.

Come Monday next week, it's supposed to be a free day. No classes. But Fr. Giordano wisely made use of the free time to schedule a required recollection. No recollection = no graduation.

And then we still have a video shoot to do.

I am so busy. I think I need some amphetamines to keep me going.
But then shabu would ruin me. Cocaine is out of the question – its too expensive.

I will consider Bangkok Pills. But I fear my heart would stop beating.

And then again if I take coffee I don’t want to be immune to caffeine.

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未来 へ Looking ahead

私 は哲学が調査する直後にPSCの楕円形の今朝の20のラップを超揺することを行くことを計画した。 しかし私がそこに着いたときに、分野は中学校のフットボール選手の完全だった-私が見たので推定上la Salle Greenhillsから彼らのバスは離れたちょうど少数のメートルを駐車した。 わかりました、それらはゲームを有した。 しかしそれは私のルーチンを台無しにした。 なんでもありません。 私はちょうど私のE-メールを点検することを家に戻った。

I was supposed to go and jog 20 laps on the Ultra PSC Oval this morning right after Philo class but when I got there, I found the field in the middle of the track packed with grade school football players – presumably from La Salle Greenhills as I saw their bus parked just a few blocks away. Well ok, there was a game, and it threw me off my routine. Never mind I just went right home to check my email.

最 近私はずっと未来について考えている-私はそれにもかかわらずこのフリータイムをすべて過すか。 それまでに、卒業し(すべてがうまくいけば、そこにあるこの3月の卒業の私のチャンスに悲惨である) 技術的な複雑化無しが。 私はすぐに働くか。 または意志私は適用の通常周期を通って行かなければならない概要を、最終的に私はまでの帰り呼出しおよび待っている堤出してことをフォローアップ予想して 呼出し聞く「言うために雇われる!」

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the near future – will I still have all this free time to go to Ultra, or go home and loll around in 4 month’s time? By then, I’ll have graduated (if all goes well, ie no technical complications that would disastrously hinder my chances of getting out of college this March). Will I immediately be working? Or will I have to go through the usual cycle of applications, submitting resumes, anticipating return calls and waiting for follow-up calls until finally the coveted “You’re hired?”.

考えるためにすべてこれらが何も私いかにについて一度意味しないか私が訳にはいく現実に投げられるので学校の仕事に集中する難しさがある。 意味は、これら数月の時間ににさようなら言っていた事である:

It is getting harder for me to concentrate on school work since I can’t help but think about how all these will mean nothing once I get into the real world. I mean, these are the things I would be saying goodbye to in several months time:

こ れ以上:

• 長いテスト、中間および口頭試験
  
• ほとんどあらゆる主題のための5インチの厚い読書、
  
• 私が駐車スロットを見つけることができないので学校への運転および遅いがあること。 様々な喫煙者の小型の庭の反射の時間、Bellarmineにdeラコスタ、完全に隔離されたものとCTC-SOMおよびFaura、である私の好み。
• クラスに出入して玄関に沿って歩くこと。
  本を、長いすの賦課金に借りることを、図書館に行って写真複写されるある読書が読んだ雑誌をある。 教師が皆を呼ぶことにする場合のクラスに目覚め、加わらせる 月が前に締切割り当てられたが、賦課金の前の2日だけに取り組まれたペーパーおよびプロジェクト。 登録-無言で祈っている間私が200の下で少なくとも1つを得た私の最初選択でなかった教師を選ぶ悩ませたプロセスへの乱数の最初の点検からの…。
• クラブでき事の出席。
• 12:30 pmの家に行き、日の残りのための睡眠。

私はこれらの経験を逃す、けれども同時に私は去るために待ち時間を傾ける。 年後に、私はそれが一度学生であるためにいかにのように感じたか忘れている。 私はちょうど知っている。 私の優先順位に突然の転位がある。 私は私が今より育ち、高度に私の行為を担当させる。 私は私がまだ約社会的ななまけ者であることを行ってもいいかどうか疑問に思うか。 団体の世界の私の不断の先延ばしにする方法のための部屋があるか。 私がちょうど今消えることができれば3月までに新しい表紙を付ければ。

No more:

1. Long Tests, Midterms and Oral exams with thesis statements that run a mile long

2. 5 inch thick readings, for almost every subject

3. Driving to school and being late because I can’t find a parking slot.

4. Spending reflection time at various Smoker’s Pocket Gardens, my favorites being De la Costa, CTC-SOM and Faura, Plus the perfectly isolated one at Bellarmine.

5. Walking along the hallways to and from classes

6. Going to the library to borrow a book, settle dues, have some readings photocopied, read magazines

7. Being forced to wake up and participate in class when the teacher decides to call everyone for recitation

8. Projects and papers that were assigned a month before the deadline but worked on only 2 days before its due

9. Registration – from the initial checking of random numbers while silently praying I got at least one below 200, to the harassed process of selecting teachers who weren’t my first choice

10. Attending org events

11. Going home at 12:30 pm and sleeping for the rest of the day

I will miss these experiences, yet at the same time I cant wait to leave. After a year, I will forget how it once felt like to be a student. I just know.

There will be a sudden shift in my priorities. I will be forced to grow up and be responsible for my actions to a higher degree than I do now. I wonder if I can still go about being a social loafer? Will there be room for my perennial procrastinating ways in the corporate world?
If I could just disappear right now, and resurface by March.

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前方の月の学術のスケジュール: Academic schedule for the months ahead:

前方の月の学術のスケジュール:

1月の第2週または第3週 : 就職市

2月5日月曜日--> 学 校無し、大統領の日
2月21日水曜日: 灰水曜日の固まり、 10:30 AMの期末試験 解放
3月10日土曜日:最終的な等級の解放
3月28日水曜日-青い ロースト
3月30への3月31日金曜日/土曜日日: 卒業式の日(私は成功するか。 )

Academic schedule for the months ahead:
Jan 2nd or 3rd week - Job Fair
Feb 5 Mon - no school, President's Day
21 Wed - Ash Wednesday Mass, 10:30 am
26-28 Mon-Wed - Final Exams

Mar 10 Sat - release of final grades
28 Wed - Blue Roast
30-31 Fri-Sat - Graduation Day (will I make it?)

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怒っている 等々 angry

私はずっと私に迷惑を掛けているものが最終的に把握したことを考える。 ある特定の害虫は私の携帯電話の私を電話し続け、実際に迷惑になる。 私が行くところはどこでも、彼はそこに行く。 私は私の関心を引くことを試みている私の友人にまたはものは何でも彼が私に話し続けるので話を傾ける。 私が去る時はいつでも、彼は私に続くには彼がたいと思うように、ほとんど余りに去る。 従って私は私が滞在を愛する知っているある特定の場所を彼そこにいるも避ける。 私は感じたり従って窒息した。 蠍座生まれの人で、私は私の個人的なスペースに実際に報酬を置いた。 私は容易に他を、私がやっと知っている特にそれら信頼しない。 しかしこの馬鹿はそれに私のプライバシー侵入する。 彼はそれがうまくあることを考える。 そのような迷惑。 私を放っておきなさい。 彼は理解してはいけないか。 私は彼とありたいと思わないという彼が考えをなぜ得なくてもいいか私が丁寧に彼の招待をすべて断ってもか。 これは私に健全なそう怒っている作る。

最後の金曜日は楽しみパーティーに行った。

それは確認される。 私の友人は不快な人である。 私は彼がもう私の友人でないことを決定した。 私はLさんと話し、徹底的に彼の特性がいかに変わったか私逹は気づいた。 彼はに対処し易いのが常であった。 素晴らしくおよび気持が良いです。 中間年党があったけれども去年の11月。 彼は奇妙に不愉快であり始めた。 彼は私で私が何かを間違ってしたようにまぶしく光る。 それは私を不安にさせた。 私は何をあなたにしたか。 最後の金曜日の党の間に、彼はとてもよそよそしく、個人的行動した。

証 拠はここにある:

• 彼は反抗の態度の行為の床のポーカー用のチップを投げた。
• 彼はカードディーラー(余りに私達のものの友人)で失礼に急がせには、ゲームを始めるために叫んだ。 彼は彼について困惑させる原料の話すことによって彼の高等学校のクラスメートの悪口を言い、クラスメートを言うことは擬似特性だった。
• 彼は彼に食糧を得るために私達の友人P要求した。 彼は女の子に彼に食糧を得、彼に役立つように命じた。
• 彼は彼押したほとんどころぶ私は私の椅子により私の椅子と壁の間で、そして私が少し動かすことができる従って彼が渡ることができればかどうか尋ねるかわり にスペースを通りたいと思った。
• 彼はある会話を録音している彼女がビデオの間、床のLさんの携帯電話を投げた。 ちょっと愚かのは彼女が撮影だったでなかった。
• D氏は私達に飲み物に役立つためにウォッカを得た。 しかし彼は突然彼が飲み物に役立つ1才だったように氏からのDびんをつかみ、行動した。

I think i finally figured out what's been bugging me.
A certain pest keeps calling me and it really gets annoying. Wherever I go, he goes there. I cant even talk to my friends because he keeps talking to me, trying to get my attention or whatever. Whenever I leave, he leaves too, almost as if he wants to follow me.
Thus I avoid certain places which I love to hang out at, knowing he'll be there too.
I feel so suffocated. Being a scorpio, I really put a premium on my personal space. I dont easily trust others, especially those whom I barely know. But this idiot invades it wantonly thinking that its ok. whatta pest. Get a life.
Can't he get a hint? No matter how many times I say no, (politely) why bother putting up with me?
Please. just. fuck. off.
aLright. I said no emo here. But this reeks of too much anger.

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悲 しみ+ 切望

何ら感情を内部の実際に情緒が関係の他に方法私関連付ける。
またはそれは両方の方法であることができる-誰かは深く傷つく何かを言う
そして私は自分自身についてひどく感じる。
よって私は他に毒液を打つ。 私の沈着を失い、それに後退によって対

処する。 世界からの撤回は隠遁者みたい。 強制されるだれでもに話

すことを断る。私は人々に話させること時間が来る自分の言は冷たく、無

感情無感覚である。
今私の生命の混同した状態にであるのでこれを言うだけ。
私は取除く皮からそれ自身を解放することを試みているヘビのように取れない以外、感じる。 自分は絶望的な間違いになっ た。 私は今の所で求めた神の助け。。。 助けを求めるささやく小さい祈り。
時々私はより穏やかに感じるが、でも、不況は完全に立ち去らない。 私の精神の騒ぎと取り込みを引き起こしているものに より知らない。多分私は行動療法を行く必要が

I think whatever is going on inside emotionally can really affect the way I relate to others in relationships.
Or it could be both ways - someone says something that hits me bad, then I'd feel awful about myself and as a consequence, I lash venom out to others.
I lose my composure, and I cope with it by retreating.
withdrawing from the world like a recluse.
refusing to speak to anyone, unless forced. and when I do, what i say reeks of coldness, apathy and insensitivity.
I'm sorry to all the people I might have hurt. I'm just going through a terribly antsy, messed-up phase in my life right now. I feel like a snake trying to wriggle out of its shed-skin except it won't come off.
Such a WRECK.
I've turned to God at this time... Whispering little prayers asking for help. Sometimes I feel better, but it doesnt completely go away. I dont know what it is exactly that's been bothering me.
Maybe I need to see a therapist.

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Cigarette Reviews

Source

Fags eh? what be they all about ? I think that crazy dead brummie guy put it best when he said "you know, that little white stick you put in your mouth" He's dead now, but aren't we all ? You know, if you think about it. His death was "mainly due to smow-king" notice the key word there MAINLY, the advert failed to mention that he was actually shot in the head, that was the real cause of his death. Anyway, if you already smoke or are planning to get started then here's a bunch of reviews so that you can pick the right brand to commit to. I've included whether you should crash (ask for a fag) or just buy some.

Marlboro Lights - Good for beginners, a nice smooth creamy tab, rich in vitamin R and bursting with aromathayan promise. I would suggest buying these at a young age and letting time bring them close to your heart. Crashing a couple of these babies could be the best thing you ever did. Also worth a buy if you've got pocket-sense. 9/10

Regal - A good football fag, need a good footballing brain for these bastards, maybe even a rugby brain. Nothing spells competitive sport like a warm beer and a Regal. A smoother approach to the old hardcore nicotine dragger. Definitely say yes to a crash but never 2, buy them if you feel a Sports Saturday/Teletext afternoon coming on, or a pub discussion about Maxim magazine. 8/10

Dunhill - The cigarette for boxers, very similar to above but for a different brand of sport, a bouncing boy's sport. Need a good boxing brain for this particular hench of tabarettes. Old Frankie B loved to laugh, but now he's a blithering fool. That crazy bruvva smoked a pound of these a day. Some times a pound and a half if he felt the smackdown in his battleaxe. Only crash one of these cunts if you feel up for brawl or a test of might, and for god's sake don't buy them unless you box or can fake it by having a broken nose and a strange shaped head. 8/10

Lambert And Butler - Fags made from bad bits of fags. Cigarettes for bad people. They're a pub smoke in theory but it's more of a playground sneaker if you catch my breeze. Smoke them by all means, but beware, you are an idiot if you smoke them. Usually come with a hairless head and a wet coat, but don't be surprised if your nana is partial to a Lambert on a Funday afternoon, because we all know that if there was a new day created it would be called "Funday". If you've had many pints and someone you don't know offers you a fag, it WILL be a Lambert, take it and smile but by morning you'll cough up some bile. And only buy them if you made your money by threatening people. 3/10

Balmoral - "You've played the golf course now smoke the cigarette". A quote from the mighty CRUST there and how better could it have been phrased ? It couldn't. The only way I could possibly describe these fags is by scales breaching and as you all know, I don't breach the Craigs. 9/10

The Benson range. Benson and hedges also make pasta bakes!

Benson and Hedges - Could be a lung peeling sensation. I'd say for those in need of a bit of sexual healing, come see your uncle Benson, though you may get more than you bargained for. A beef roast should proceed a Benson and then a racist chat/rant, be warned you may not be old enough to smoke these - seniors only, I say...and only smoke them if you eat sunday dinner EVERY day. 5/10

Lucky Strike - A fag for real American Joes. Nothing says "good morning America" like a good old Lucky S. These babies go well with a big ol' slice of American pie. We all know the Americans SAVED OUR ASS in World War II, so why not pack one of these ASSHOLES in to your mouth and reap the benefits. Crash one or two if you've got the soul of a patriot....and If you feel like living the AMERICAN DREAM then by all means make a purchase....everything else is WACK. 8/10

Smoke at the Captain's table

Paul Jones - Admirals only. If I caught a left tenant puffing blindly on a PJ smooth then I'd have to report them to the correct authorities. Even the Boson is forbidden to even think about pleasuring himself in such a way. I can't review these as I have never been an admiral and therefore never has a Paul Jones wing-tip graced my lips. These get a "GUESS OUT OF TEN" ?/10

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Senseless Post

The common factor among them is that all their first names start with the same letter.
I don't know why, its not as if its was by choice that I liked their type.
Random events seem to make it happen.

Its over now, and I'm glad to be free.
After 1 year of hardship, I think I've released myself from what ruined me completely.


"Soarin, flying, we're breaking free.."


Unless, a new one comes along, catches my eye...happens all over again.
I'll be damned if that person's first name starts with the same letter.

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No way out but out

I've only had two hours of sleep. But I'm relatively wide awake thanks to some unnatural chemical method.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
Grandparent's Day is tommorow, but I'm not visiting them.
I only have one set left alive, on my dad's side, they've been dead for 9 years or more.
I wonder if I get old I'll have someone to take care of me like my mother tends to my grandma.
I'll probably be left alone to rot and die in a dark stuffy room.
What could I possibly die of?
The probable causes of death (my prediction) are stated according to degree of likelihood, from most plausible to least, but still possible:

a) Lung Cancer/ Emphysema

b) Diabetes - Both grandma and grandpa died from complications arising out of this.

c) Cancer, be it lymphoma, breast cancer, colon cancer, - my mom's deceased uncles and aunts, cousins and second degree kin all died from cancer

d) Aneurysm - blood vessels in my brain might suddenly burst, hence, instant death

e) Car Accident - who knows? No one can tell what the future holds if its time, its time.

f) Cirrhosis

g) Drug Overdose

h) Complications arising from drug overdose

Am I afraid of death? Yes, of course. I think everyone to some extent, no matter how tough an exterior they put up, still would be terrified of dying. But my theory is that it has more to do with uncertainty of what happens afterwards. Or, if you're Catholic, its the fear of hell, and the uncertainty of ever leaving purgatory-for less sinful individuals.

Ultimately, we will all die.

That being said, have a good Saturday morning y'all.

xoxo

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Biorythms and theology

Sitting in class yesterday, I learned a 'new" (for me) and interesting thing to obsess over.
My professor told us about a study he conducted on the correlation of truck driver accidents while on duty and their biorythms on that day of the accident, as part of the company's operations research.
Every human being, from the time of birth to the present day, rides 3 main waves which determine his state at a particular day. The 3 components, emotional, intellectual, physical, can either be high, critical (ie=0), or low. Basically, you either get to be up on cloud nine on monday, but sink into depression by Saturday. Same for the physical and intellectual cycles. More info.

Calculate your biorythm.

I'm now wondering if my intellectual cycle was below zero levels the day I took the deadly project management midterm. I might have scored a total of only 30/120, and that's only because of partial points coming from having something scribbled on the white test booklets. Oh well, must not dwell on it. Chalk it up to experience, what doesnt kill me will only make me stronger.

Today I recieved the grace of confession (required for my theology class). I'm feeling abit uneasy, as if there's some voice in my head compelling me not to attempt any sins again. Thus, I have to go to mass (Nativity of the Blessed Mother) later, no excuses. Last Ash Wednesday I lied to my mom when she asked me if I had gone to mass and gotten my forehead marked with a black sooty cross. I said I did, at school when in fact I hadnt. the guilt I felt after....dissipated in a few days. bad! hahha.

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If you're constipated, drink 2 gallons of water

Feeling somewhat sluggish today (and the whole of last week )...maybe attributed to the lack of excercise perhaps?
Really must get on a fitness program to jump start my waning energy levels.
Speaking of fitness, my dad recently talked with the owner of Hot Rocks (Club 650 in Libis) and the guy, whose name is also Louie (hehe), suddenly bulked up since the last time they saw each other. It turns out he'd enrolled himself at the Club 650 gym. Hmm..didnt know there was a gym there, from what I know, all they had were futsal, badminton and rockclimbing facilities. That's something I might check out, no, I should check out, specially since the gym trainer fee's only 200 Php according to "Louie". Now I dont wanna bulk up and all that like what happened to Century Tuna (tama ba?) endorser Jackie Lou Blanco. Just to get toned, firm muscles ala Naomi Watts in I heart Huckabees
would be nice. Hah as if I'd have the time for that considering all the school work and org stuff.

This blog could also serve as my online assignment notebook (how highschool that sounds) to refer to everytime I need to do an inventory of immediate and future tasks to do)
Such as:

Academic

1. Web Programming Project - due in 2 weeks (Progress - 0%)
2. Project Management Deliverable Sept 4
3. Project Mgt Midterms Sept 6 (Progress: 10%)
4. ISA 2nd Long Test week of Sept 11
5. Philosophy Exam - not scheduled but coming soon
6. Alpha Testing of Module 1 and 2
7. Meet with PM of Module Project (sa Philam Makati, fug memories of my OJT. THis time, I WILL bring a car no matter what~~~~~~)
Internal Dialogue - yabang mo kala mo may pambayad ka sa gasolina. De, ok lang si Dad naman gagastos. Hah, bhala ka pagworking ka na di ka marunong mag-budget ng expenses mo, asa lang ng asa sa Dad. SHADDUP.

Non-Academic
This week:
1. Shifts at the concert ticket selling booth (I didnt go today-bad..)
2. IT Career Talk that I must cover for my newsletter article
3. IT Career Talk (Same) that I must help set up, since I'm part of logistics of another org responsible for the talk
4. Meeting with Office of the Sec-gen, Compsat R&D for the project proposal on Doc Mgt System
5. Concert meeting - sometime this week accdg to the PM's SMS

Next week?/Deferred Tasks
1. Contact prospective sponsors for yearbook
2. Shifts for the photoshoot
3. Concert set-up on Fri Sept 8
4. Continue with the DMS project
5. Commit Suicide. No. can. do. according to some moral philosophers, suicide is a morally wrong act in the sense that you abandon your duty towards others in your social network, and moreover your duty to contribute as a citizen of the state. (In socialist republics its a crime to attempt suicide, the state owns you. See what happened to Nina Lugovskaya? She was made to do hard labor..) That's why suicide is a selfish act, an act of self love despite being the end of self. So, no, I will never committ suicide. Besides, I dont want to go to hell.

Argh. So what else? Other than be original and not echo off what's on the news lately,
I shall be redundant and post what's on the news lately. Please allow me to get these off my head. Its the only way I can destress (after cigarettes,alcohol and whatever else). If you have gone this far down in reading my blog, you may have the option to move along, come on now click on that little "x" button at the upper right corner of your window, for from hereon I shall not make much sense besides mimic what's on the dailies and on tv lately and random stuff I've been doing so far. Do yourself a favor =).

Stuff on my mind
1. Pluto's no longer a planet. So what? I may be proud to alive be in this generation who had the opportunity to witness such a historical scientific (cosmological/astrological/solar systematical) event. But what of it? We are empirical creatures who may delight in certain discoveries given our scientific developments but there are so many more mysteries out there that science can only do so much to explain, and that philosophers can only do so much as to speculate and posit theories.

2. Reformatted my HP-Compaq Laptop
Finally got to do this after so long. It was a white elephant sitting on top of the table for 4 months now. Here I am typing on it. As Sir Maguyon said : Backing up is important. That's why I created a separate partition for my media files, so that everytime some Trojan worm/horse/seahorse/wormfish/balalahahla decides to infest my hard drives, I only have to format the OS partition. +++DISCLAIMER: If at this point you have no idea what I am talking about, I shall not be held liable for a moment's waste of your brain space.

3. Project Management
Biggest regret of my life: not taking PM under Sir O***c. But then I had no choice, no more slots left in his class.
Hush child, it will all be over in...sep oct nov dec jan feb SIX months. After that, only then shall I worry about my future. DOOM.
Were testing the modules of a real live government subsidized project. Daunting task, no room for slacking bitches.

4. P&G Test
I took a shot at the P&G Online application test for the student career roadshow. Surprisingly, as an IT person (should be), I chose these top 3 departments, in chronological order:
a. Consumer Market Knowledge (market research, segments, trends)
b. IT (My heart does not lie here, but I've gotta be realistic. Match my qualifications with the Job Desc)
c. External Affairs - dealing with corporate relations, media, etc. (Am I a "PR" person? YEs and No, depending on the people I'm with)

5. Psychic Vampires (Dont know what these are? click--> How to recognise Psychic Vampires)
I realize the need to avoid, or at least minimize the presence of these people in my life. I cant afford to have them suck all the positive energy lifeforce out of me. Who are these people? I have a few of them, but I wont name names. Just that after talking or even just encountering them, I feel so drained, It's the lucid stupor that one gets after waking up from 2 days of sleep induced Valium. Confidence levels drop too, because its as if they over dominate you so much you'd feel reduced to shreds. scrap. basura. hay.

Ok thats enough. If I dont cut this short I may fill up 10++ pages. Till next time.

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Scorpio Horoscope for Aug29-Sept 7 2006

Weekly Forecast for August 21, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Monthly Forecast

Monday through Wednesday, as much as you'd like to wear bright, colorful clothes, you'd be better off taking a black-and-white approach. Flamboyance is a problem the first half of the week, and self-control and professionalism are required at work right now. The bummer is that it's summer, and you'd like to be enjoying yourself! You get to have some more fun the second half of the week. Thursday and Friday are great days. A friend whispers something in your ear that puts a grin on your face. Saturday and Sunday are full of down-tempo pleasure.

Weekly Forecast for August 28, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Monthly Forecast

You're a snail on Monday, and you're hanging out under your shell. It's not that you're unhappy; you just don't feel like making any decisions. You're feeling shy. Besides, it's a lot cooler under your shell than in the blazing-hot sun. Tuesday sees you emerging a bit, rubbing your eyes. You might say something funny in passing that has friends busting up for hours. Wednesday is a great day. Thursday and Friday, with your spirits up and your confidence fully restored, you find yourself the life of a party. This weekend, you have some business to attend to.

Weekly Forecast for September 04, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Monthly Forecast

Where there's a will, there's a way -- this is truer than ever on Monday. Let your determination make the naysayers step back. But be pleasant about it. As you initiate new projects in one realm of your life, another realm -- your home life -- seems to take a turn for the worst, especially on Wednesday. The problems are not as bad as they seem, though, and Thursday and Friday provide you with plenty of time for unadulterated pleasure. Music or theater figures prominently. Saturday and Sunday, as much as you'd like to stay in the art-appreciation mindset, fitness is crucial.


Daily Extended Forecast for August 29, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

The freshest ideas offer the greatest illumination for your life, so seek out innovation wherever and whenever you can today. If you put yourself in situations that are new, you might feel the slightest bit uncomfortable -- but you will definitely learn a thing or two. Today is all about pushing past your comfort zone and opening your eyes to how other people live. Visit a hot new ethnic restaurant and explore another culture through its cuisine.

Daily Extended Forecast for August 30, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

When was the last time you imagined what your future looked like? Whether you want your life to be all about family, romance, travel or running the world, you need to picture it as completely as you can -- only then will you be able to believe that it can happen. Visualization will help you get where you need to go. Feed your confidence with small successes -- try your hand at the daily crossword, challenge a friend to a game of gin rummy. Winning feels good no matter how small the battle is.

Daily Extended Forecast for August 31, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

You are the recipient of many truths today. People are in the mood to tell you how they feel, and while not all of the reviews will be glowing, you will end your day with closer, more meaningful relationships. Someone who you desperately want to impress is already raving about your ways, so relax and realize that the two of you are equals after all. Your reputation is on a big upswing, and you have broken some beastly bad habits. Congratulations!

Daily Extended Forecast for September 01, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

It's time to get something new cooking -- so wrangle all of your people together and see who's on board for an adventure! Ambitious travel is in your future, so you might want to narrow down your options today (with everyone else's input also, of course). Getting everyone to be on the same page is never an easy task, but your charm and confidence are at an all-time high, and you could convince anyone to go along with the group. Today you're a powerful leader.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 02, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

If a friend or family member asks you to sacrifice some of your free time in the coming weeks, try to comply. They wouldn't ask this of you unless they really needed your help, and chances are you'll get a lot out of being there for them. They need to delegate some major responsibilities, and you should take it as a compliment that they came to you first. In your work life, things are about to get busy -- so you might want to clean up your work area to get ready for the onslaught.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 03, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

An aggressive person has their eye on a big part of your territory, so you'll need to be on the ball when they're around today. Simple jealousy is driving their audacious power play, so you should feel flattered more than threatened. There's no need to worry, since no one can knock you off the cloud you're on right now, no matter how hard they push. You have very powerful allies on your side ... people who want to see you succeed. You have nothing to worry about.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 04, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

Spend as much of your time as possible producing something that can't be easily ignored today ... like an insanely rich chocolate cake, a sappy romantic poem or an eye-catching outfit. You should make a dramatic statement in everything you do right now ... your reputation is solid, but it would benefit from a huge shot in the arm. You're ready to be in the spotlight, and once you put yourself there, you'll be able to use it for a powerful, beneficial cause.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 05, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

Your long period of confidence might be going through a bumpy patch in the road. Are you looking for a sign that you're on the right track? It's not the end of the world if you doubt yourself every once in a while, so don't beat yourself up about it. You can poll your friends and relatives and ask them what they think about what you're doing, but ultimately that might confuse you more than help you. Instead, patience is your best bet for peace of mind. Just keep going and trust yourself.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 06, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

Today you finally find the point of least resistance you've been searching for so tirelessly. The realization of one simple fact readjusts your entire perspective, just like when you wash your windshield after driving through a buggy spot on the road. Things are suddenly clearer in your relationships -- and an argument from yesterday seems like a silly misunderstanding today. Put your best foot forward and extend the olive branch.

Daily Extended Forecast for September 07, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

You don't need to do a lot of maintenance with your life right now. Everything is well on its way to success, so there's no need to hover over the details too closely. You run the risk of overthinking things, and you could do more to hinder your progress than accelerate it. There's no need to rush things right now ... let them unfold naturally, like a flower. Let your mind focus on future ideas and where you want to go next.










">Read more!

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AGORAPHOBIC
Scene 1

On the hallway
M: What happened? (surprised grin)
R: Nothing. fuck off you'll never understand. ( forces a smile, then wrinkles head in a half-frown)
M: Haha. you're funny. (grins bigger)
R: (says nothing) What?. I wanna go home. When will this crap end? (stares back, smiles with lips closed)

Inside the room
R's friend: Let's sit over there.
R: Okay (follows friend)
M: (follows and stares at R)
P enters, all are seated.
P: Ok, lets skip the formalities. I'll just discuss a few important things about this course. I'll leave it to you to read the rules on the syallabus. I wont take this up anymore. I expect you guys to follow these - you're not kids anymore. (Reads from the syllabus, talks about the course)
M: ( in a soft voice) Can I borrow a pen?
R: (rummages inside bag for a pen)
R's friend: What did P just say?
R: (stops digging for a while, glances at friend) Something about a project. (turns to M). I dont have an extra pen.
R's friend: Let's be groupmates
R: Ok. what choice have I? Thanks for sticking by me.
P: (when done) Any questions?
(the room is silent, nobody speaks)
P: All right then, I'll be needing an assistant. Who would like to volunteer?
S: (raises his hand)
R: (looks in S's direction)
C: (raises her hand)
P: S, you be the assistant. Everyone bring an ID size picture tommorow, plus a 3 by 5 index card. Put your name, contact numbers, email on it. S, you take care of collecting it for me.
(silence for a few seconds, others shuffle to write stuff on their notebooks)
(Bell rings)
P: You may go now.
(Everyone gets up to leave)

Out in the hallway again
Y: Hey, you guys.
R's friend: Hi.
M: Where you headed?
Y: Lets have lunch.
R: I have to run some errands.
R's friend: You're not joining us?
R: I have to go to the bank, my dad needs something picked up.
T: (joins the group) Where you guys off to?
M and Y: Lunch.
R's friend: I need to go to the library. Oh well. maybe later after lunch.
R: I'm going now. See you guys.
All: Bye.
R: (turns around and walks away) Whew. Finally.


The sneers / the snickers /the scathing words whispered /an eyebrow arches up /lips curl up on one side /what happened to you?/ giggle / taunt / jeer/ taunt / jeer / disgust. /stares. stares. stares. / they are all around you / gnawing at your core / where will you run? /defenseless / so give up / the useless battle / you cant / run away forever / hide but they'll find you / fight back and they'll rip /you to shreds /what's left? / crammed between two walls / hurry on, Sunday/ dont want to see Monday/




Outside the wind blows alongisde the gushing rain.
Strands of damp black hair flap on her cheek. She closes her eyes and takes a long drag on the stale cigarette. Everything used to be so perfect, she thought as pictures of the past flashed across her. No, not perfect, but calm. Stable. On a homeostatic balance.
She glances up over the fence as a cars intermittently pass by on the street across.
For most folks, everyday is just the same. They all live such balanced, normal lives.
The busy teller behind the bank counter taking in deposits and doling out withdrawals.
The maid taking the dog out for an afternoon walk while the mistress enjoys a massage at the spa. The smartly clad salesman in a coat and tie ensemble at the shop attending to clients who spend thousands on clothes that will probably end up forgotten and stashed behind heaps of other clothes, never to be worn even just once.
But for those like her who lead troubled lives, nothing can be done with such nonchalance that is usually attached to ordinary day to day rituals of life.
Just stepping out of the house is a struggle. Having to deal with the outside world, the noise, the pollution, the stares, the false flattery behind the compliments, having to confront the unavoidable, is enough to make her cower in fear and decide to stay at home.
The paranoia always wins.

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Why are we here? Think about it

Narrated by Morgan Freeman

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Moto's dead

My trusty Moto v878 of almost 2 years died out on me today. So long sugar. I loved you with my all. I just wish I could've taken care of you in as much as you deserved to be taken care of.
I'll miss this bitch.

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Peculiar or Plain Normal?

Look what I found.
I didnt realize there was some protocol for such things..
It seems suited for obsessive compulsive neat freaks.
Nice, although a bit too peculiar.

STEPS IN CLEANING SLIPPERS

	Scrub slippers against a coarse mat placed at a designated area to remove any dirt on the bases of the slippers;
Spray the slippers with a hose to clean them thoroughly;
	Where necessary, use a brush provided in the venue to scrub off any dirt stuck on the bases of the slippers; and
Spray the slippers with a hose again to remove the loosen dirt so that the slippers are thoroughly cleaned;
	After the slippers are thoroughly cleaned, wear them to walk through the shower bath and footbath, and enter the pool deck.

Taken from: Hongkong Leisure and Cultural Services Department

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